Exactly! There is no reason besides anon cowardice (coupled with tech inadequacy and/or troll laziness) why responses should be happening in the FTM Confessions inbox instead of in the notes. It could be argued the submissions get more pageviews, but when something is hot and a note/reblog is good, it obv can jump over the flooded inbox hurdle to post on the FTM Confessions page as you, gayxxboy, and I did on our first notes on the this unfolding drama (which also indicates that the author is reading as much as he possibly can directly related to his site both 1st tier, 2nd tier, and perhaps beyond so good on him again for having the patience for all this; I couldn’t ever muster it).
(Also) It would be possible for anon commenting by integrating a comment system in addition to notes within the FTM Confessions blog, though that may be a whole other can of worms in terms of comment moderation. I saw many an LJ community fall apart because of flame wars and general comment overflow on all-moderated groups.
perhaps it would make more sense to make a new rule banning responses to confessions as submissions? people can easily respond to particular confessions by reblogging and commenting, there’s no need to send a ‘reply-confession’.
I see you’re sort of flying by the seat of your pants and vacillating between a valid method for selection at the moment. I read all the posts for the past seven days, and I really think you’ve done a concise and basically thorough job of covering the topic of stealth shaming (as well as provided the platform for distribution of that phrase’s coining). You’ve got the polar ends on a soapbox and a few personal accounts in between; whatever else somebody *needs* to get out will come with the normal entries in a few weeks (or maybe days if your readers have a refractory attention span).
This all seems a bit symptomatic of what happens to people who are young in understanding and accepting themselves as trans*/non-cis people; they get angry and reactionary when they see people with a radically different approach to transition/transgression against sexgender norms but bearing the same identity labels. They think that this “other” somehow represents them, may even indicate some deeper part of themselves they won’t admit, and they react in direct anger against that “other” as a distancing, protective, and crude indentity-affirming effect for the self. In my observed opinion, this sort of judgmental and derisive behavior is the sort of thing that CANNOT be allowed to happen in real life as it erodes the very fundamental building block of human society that is mutual respect. However, it is also necessary for the person experiencing the identity immaturity to openly express their anger to a target they feel threatens them so that they can witness reactionary cycles to it, and eventually come to the conclusion that the identity of the other can not define the identity of the self, and that such needless hate only undermines the greater need for collaboration on issues of human, civil, and patient rights.
These (mostly) guys submitting to your blog are YOUNG in their understanding of queer theory and sexgender studies. If they’ve even cracked open Butler, Halberstam, Bornstein, Feinberg, Stryker, or any of the contemporary essential “one-offs”, they can’t apply that knowledge (providing they intellectually understand some of the more esoteric work) to their daily understanding of life as lived yet because everything is still personal identity as concerns matters of sexgender. So they post something stupid, anonymously, through your blog and four notes condemn their post along with a few likes (usually people they know from the net and are anger trolling with them for solidarity), another anon gets a submission through that’s clearly in reaction with reblogs of support, a few more angry reblogs on their original submission, and you may even delete their original post. Well, now their head is spinning. They most likely would never have this opportunity unless they’re in a queerly populated area or a support group with no rules and no shame to do this in real life, but here on the internet, they can satiate their desire to deride people whose identities they feel threaten theirs quite easily. With the exception of the few who come back every now and then to slap a wrist or who linger because they’re that damn noble, the online trans* community is largely comprised of people who do not understand their personal identity and are usually earlier in all stages of transition, so this situation will arise MANY times on issues far more controversial than stealth shaming. PLEASE remember that you’re providing an essential form of counseling for the aggressor, and that the collateral damage on the internet is considerably less than any real world scenario. This is indeed the perfect venue for working through these issues and most trans*/noncis people will have this need at some point in their life. People give their consent to be “offended” or “triggered” when they Follow your blog (FCC v. Pacifica), so do not pander to those who will unfollow because they cannot handle it.
The way I see it in my dash, your blog is here to offend and trigger. The young and reckless or careful, but certainly unsure, ones need to stir those who’ve grown too comfortable in misery or success or stagnation, but certainly too sure of themselves and the sexgendered world that surrounds us. I didn’t have a dog in this fight (I committed all the anger-trolling I needed to in a very short period of time over a decade ago, and I’ve frankly never been as voluminously or attentively engaged in the online trans* community since), but this slightest whiff of something interesting-that you might censor what you have here-pulled me in this many words and two posts deep.
To summarize: I think you’ve covered stealth shaming (for now, but this stuff is cyclical, so it will return). You have burdened yourself perhaps beyond some of your transition hurdles with this blog, and all of the drama ahead of you will soon not be personally worth it (if you are deriving any personal benefit above the hassle right now). Even so, I do hope that you continue on as long as you can post insightful and provocative content, perhaps even past that point if it’s for the therapeutic benefit of the submitting members.
There’s a ton of responses to stealth shaming shit in my inbox right now. I’ve put through a bunch of SS posts and people are going nuts. I’ve never seen such a heavy reaction before. I don’t know if controversy is a good thing, especially after the early days of my blog where lots of hardcore feminists followed me and they’d go apeshit over every other thing posted here.
I only read one of the “stealth shaming confessions” and if that’s what you’re gonna start censoring over… wow, lame. I think it’s a huge burden to do your blog, but you cannot cave to the whiny fuckers like me out there and you have to choose for yourself what you want to present….
I only read one of the “stealth shaming confessions” and if that’s what you’re gonna start censoring over… wow, lame. I think it’s a huge burden to do your blog, but you cannot cave to the whiny fuckers like me out there and you have to choose for yourself what you want to present. You are the filter. If you don’t want something ON YOUR BLOG (well, it’s getting into ownership stuff there, but you’re the curator, you have ALL the control and you need to recognize that editorial POWER), don’t post it, and let any fallout over things you want to post happen in the notes.
Basically, FUCK THE WHINERS. The more popular this blog gets and the more REVEALING and CONTROVERSIAL your content gets, the more whiners you’re going to get. Frankly, I’m surprised it’s taken this long for this dilemma to happen to you that you ask the madness of the crowd. I think you’ve posted waaaay more controversial shit in the past and no one’s said ANYTHING (at least not in notes or reblogs or hotlinks).
Should I just go on and delete the stealth shaming confessions that are getting a ton of negative reactions? I know I’m supposed to be neutral about this stuff, but I’m sick of seeing everyone fighting.